I've always envied people with only two parents. They
never have to feel sorry for their real mother because she is lonely, and they
never have to feel they should care more about their stepmother because she is
the one who has provided them with the necessities most of their lives. Since I
have two mothers, I have known these feelings. I know what it's like trying to
decide which mother I should care about more so that I could tell my friends
the next time they asked. It really should be a clear-cut decision. My two
mothers are so different in everything that I should be able to look at these
differences and decide.
A major difference between the two is how
responsible they are. My stepmother has always had a steady job. She enjoys
going to work each day and knowing that at the end of the week she'll get a
paycheck. With this paycheck she pays bills, buys groceries, and makes sure we
all have clothes to wear. On the other hand, my mother doesn't particularly
care for steady jobs. She is a singer and has worked three or four nights a
week in nightclubs most of her life. With her money, she buys things like new
guitars and amplifiers. Her idea of providing for us, as dad tells me, is to
send hundred rupees a month, which is to be divided three ways. She only does
this, however, when she's out of state.
Discipline is another major difference between my
two mothers. My stepmother, who can be very strict at times, believes that
children should obey their parents, do what they are told when they are told to
do it, and respect their elders. My mother, who was never disciplined herself,
has quite different views. She has always encouraged my brothers and me to
rebel against rules, to ask why we had to do certain things, and to resent
being made to do things we thought were stupid. (Going to bed at ten was
stupid.) My father always told us that our mother only did this to cause
trouble, but I'm not so sure about that. Maybe she did, but then again maybe
she thought going to bed at ten was stupid, too!
Education is another big issue my stepmother is
concerned about. She believes, like many people, that to be able to succeed in
life, one has to have a good education. She always told us that she didn't want
us to turn out like she did, a truck driver who had to be away from his family
for weeks at a time. She used to punish me and my brothers for making C's on
our report cards. Her theory is that a C is average, and her kids are not
average. I wouldn't place any money on that. My mother believes that an
education is good to have, but one doesn't have to have it to survive. She
always says, "Look at me; I made it." I don't think, however, that I
would call sleeping in the back of a station wagon "making it."
So here I have it. All their differences down on
paper, and I can look at them objectively and decide which mother to love more,
but it isn't that easy. I love my mother because she is just that, my natural
mother. I respect her; I am obligated to her, and I want to make her proud of
me. Then there is my stepmother, whom I respect very much; whom I feel
obligated to; whom I want to make proud of me; and, most important of all, whom
I have grown to love as much as any child could possibly love a parent. I guess
I'll never really know which mother I love more. I don't see why I should have
to love either more. I think I'll just love both of them in almost equal
amounts.
